Do your adult children give you a hard time?

[mal from cessnock]

Goodness knows my do - I don't want to be estranged from them, but sometimes I think it may be the only way to maintain my sanity!

[arthurking83]

LOL!

fortunately my children are slowly approaching only their teenage years .. but I dare say as an adult child(to my parents) I surely must be giving them a hard time .. and quite possibly over the most insignificant topics!

[mal from cessnock]

Well Arthur, I hope your experience is a better one than mine.

People in our community would tell me "those girls will always stick by you". I raised my 3 girls and 1 boy by myself without interaction from their mother who left when my eldest was 6 and my youngest was 18mths.

It was the most rewarding and enjoyable time of my life.

Now I'm 57 and the eldest is 28 and the youngest 22 - they all live in different States and I seldom hear from any of them. I am totally alone having devoted myself to them and didn't develope a "friends" network. Other than those I already had before I married in 1980. They still are my best friends but don't fill the hole that is growing in my gut!

Sometimes I feel so alone - it's not funny. Now I have to maintain my home without their help and with my mobile disability means I have to let things fall down around me or pay for hired help - not easy on a pension!

Jeez, I must sound like a cot case. Thank goodness for my photographic and website interests - and this and other forums

[Tikira]

Sometimes I am happy we have dogs instead- we can lock them outside and they still love us.....


Sorry to hear this Mal, but hang in there and keep working away at the problems, meanwhile enjoy your photography and the friendship of all of us here on AP, even if it is only via the internet.

Di

[ricktas]

Mal, once you got married, how much interaction did you have with your own parents? I reckon your parents probably lamented the same thing at times, that you did not interact with them enough.

Lonliness can be hard, but there is only one person who can do something about that. I hope you enjoy your interactions on AP, what about trying to get an AP meet going in your area to meet some like-minded people, you never know you could just make some great new friends!

[kiwi]

Mr brother is like that to my parents, and I'm the opposite

It's completely oblivious to him the hurt that it causes to be so incommunicado, it's not that he means to be so hard to communicate with or you never hear from him, and in fact when he is pinned down he's absolutely "normal" towards mum & dad, but they would never hear from him if they didn't make some sort of effort. In fact my Mum tested this by not contacting him for a whole year. He didnt care the slightest.

[mal from cessnock]

Tikira - I have two Chihuahuas and they love me to bits. Thank you for your kind words.

Rick - I moved to the next street so my parents could enjoy my children. They are now both passed on. Thank you for your encouragement and yes I do enjoy the online friendships that are so freely offered on the AP forum.

Kiwi - good on you for being a support to your mum and dad. Your brother is like my twin - personally, I don't think there's a polite excuse for letting go of the connection between himself and those two wonderful people who raised him and sacrificed themselves for him.

That last comment of mine reminds me of something my kids say when I express that sentiment to them. They say "it was your job to raise and make sacrifices" indicating they own me nothing. Should I hope, what goes around comes around? Hmmm - I wonder

[Art Vandelay]

Mal, take care mate. Have a good friend in a similar position with his older kids (and now grandkids) and the xmas & holiday period certainly bring those issues to the forefront. Besides the net be sure to get into some good real life interaction as well. Community groups & charity work can be good soul food.

[mal from cessnock]

Thanks for that Art - great advice and have a great Christmas

All the best...

[Lance B]

Mal, very sorry to hear of your predicament. I applaud you for your devotion to your children whilst they grew up to be adults and putting your own deisres and needs on hold. That is a fantastic thing to have done and you really should be proud of that accomplishment. I am sure that one day soon one or more of your children will realise that you have done so much for them and therefore interact with you more.

As you have no close friends nearby, AP can possibly help fill a small void, but I would try to get out when and where you can to meet new people and as Art suggests, Community groups and charities can be good sould food.

Anyaway, have a Merry Christmas and look after yourself.

[mikew09]

Hi Mal, I think all families have their moments. We have to two adult girls, both with young children and I tell ya, some times I have to hold my breath till I turn blue and other times I just have to hug them till they turn blue.

It is in the book of parenting rules, Chapter 23, sub para 3, page 57 , well I think it would be if anyone could right such a novel.