I started with prime lenses before but when I started getting more dust inside my camera which have been caused by changing lenses outdoor, it prompted me to use zoom lenses instead. Primes are cheaper, usually has faster aperture, lighter but the zoom lenses suits my shooting style and provides more convenience. Sometimes when you are watching a concert or a parade, the prime lens won't allow you to step back or forward to get the composition that you want.
Re: VR / IS. I also find this very useful. Not everyone here is a sports photographer. If you use shutter speeds above 1/320 or so, it's best to leave VR off or if you use a tripod as previously pointed out. For indoor when taking family pictures or whatever interest me, using lower shutter speed i.e. 1/15, VR does works. For DX, you can probably get a Nikon 16-85mm f3.5-5.6 VR or if you prefer a constant aperture, the Nikon 24-120mm f4 VRII is another good option. The Nikon 17-55mm f2.8 is a good lens for DX but If I was going to spend that much money, then I'd rather get the 24-70mm f2.8 instead since it has better flare control and is much sharper wide open. Just my two cents.