Funny Nursery Rhymes

[Bennymiata]

A previous post made me think of some funny nursery rhymes that I knew asa kid, and thought that for a laugh, we should all put some down here.

I'll start off with one I posted earlier, and a couple of others.

Mary had a little lamb
His feet were black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
His sooty foot he put


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have some hanky panky
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Frankie

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
Got 10,000 volts in his head
And turned his wool to nylon

[Tjfrnds]

[shelly1170]

This is a gem! It's called "Go the F*ck to Sleep" and it's narrated here by Samuel L. Jackson. While not a nursery rhyme, it's written in the same style. Essentially, it's a kid's bedtime book written for adults. Warning, there are swear words in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwwtO5viUDE

[Fantasyphoto]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father killed it dead
and now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread

[Bennymiata]

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and whispey
Until her father barbequed it
And now it's black and crispy!

[Duane Pipe]

More of a song than a nursery rhyme I think but I like it, hope its not too rude

This old man
He played 9
He put his nuts on the railway line
Along came a train
Snap crackle pop
This old man had a fractured c#@k

[Mark L]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have some hanky panky
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Frankie

Or,
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Silly Jill forgot her pill
So now they have a daughter.

[Louise Jamieson]

Mary had a little lamb
she kept in the closet,
Every time she let it out
He left a little deposit