The anatomy of how a wedding shoot turns into a train wreck.

[zollo]

exactly right bercy - this is why those who photo weddings have all the contracts, discussions, terms and conditions etc etc of who shoots and why, yet some people still downplay the importance of a photographer being the photographer. its not about the shooter being a "pro" but rather who is actually getting the important shots. you may have 19 uncle bobs snapping away at your wedding and not one shot of the bride and groom between them

[jjphoto]

People often don't hire pro's, and that's perfectly OK, but then they have no right to complain either.

JJ

[mechawombat]

I had a similar experience.

I was asked to take pics of my Mother in laws nuptials.

I have a prosumer camera and do not claim to have a grasp on photography etc Hoewever because I am the only one of the family with a DSLR I was thrown in to take Pics
I did my best and did manage a few great shots but I honestly was ill equipped to photograph in poor lighting.
I wanted to do a walkthrough as a minimum but they said just shoot like all those beautiful pics you have on your flickr account ( massive facepalm ) so I had no help from the "client" and no experience
I did protest that I wont be able to get a pro job on the pics but what I did give back was OK.
at the end of it I was having such a hard time trying to be something I am not and really did not like the experience.

on the flip side
I had my BEST friend photograph my wedding, he had a Nikon D80 with a 18-200 lens and was more advanced than me
however we walked through shots we wanted( a week in advanced and had a lappy with the "test shots"), asked if he was comfortable to do so and made sure he was accomodated in anyway he needed. he ended up bringing his brother ( a canon user HEHEHEH I joke I joke )along because his brother needed to build his portfolio
His experience (well so he tells me) was that he had a GREAT time.
I gave him and his brother both $250 gift cards so that might of swayed him a bit

I think the points from the OP are so valid wish I had joined 6 months ago and this was posted up

[Bercy]

Give yourself credit Mechawombat - at least you did make plain the capabilities of your equipment and you as the operator. Low light shots and low kelvins make for difficult shots. Ergo why professionals spend a mozza on their gear. The last wedding I did was great, because I was the second photographer and we did a full walk through and mapped out exactly where we were going to be. It was pretty much choreographed, which lenses, where from. This was s great experience! The family where delighted with the shots. They made their own album by uploading the pictures they selected to one of the album creators, so it ended up cost not more than maybe a couple of hundred max. It is possible to get it right (we had Nikon and Canon).

[ricstew]

lack of communication.....by all parties i think

[crf529]

True. But that's why you pay a pro, they are expected to communicate and consequently be responsible for their performance. If you ask a friend in passing or 'just do this' then the onus is much more on the B&G and communicating to their friends how it should all occur. We aren't all mind readers, and if your not the official wedding photog or haven't even been identified as the 'head' photog, then it's not exactly appropriate to act like one.

[Jimbo]

Oops! I have great sympathy for you, because it's hard to say no when people you know and love ask you to do this for them. You feel like you're letting them down by saying no.

Simple rule: either go as the photographer, or go as a guest. if you're a guest, leave the camera at home. If you're the photographer, approach it like a pro (regardless of whether you're paid) - planning, prep, gear, knowing what shots you're taking and where in advance, etc etc. It was never going to work with wife + kids there.

[Bercy]

That sums it up perfectly Jimbo.

[smallfooties]

I had a similar experience too when i was asked to be photographer and also a guest for a friend's engagement party.
There were also a few other photographers there and it was quite confusing because there was no planning involved.
It was simply, bring my camera gear and just shoot anything i thought was worth shooting.
It was quite the frustrating experience for me in a sense. I had told my friend that i was a novice at doing portraits because i just simply don't do them. But, she was like i'm sure you'll be fine.
But after awhile i pulled her aside and said i wouldn't take anymore photos because there were a few other people doing it and we were just bumping into each other.
Apologies and all i just decided to be a guest...

[MarkChap]

Well I don't know, some people here must have, and be, very poor friends.

If I was asked to do something for a friend, and agreed to do what was asked, I would do it, end of story. Just as I would expect that a friend, who had agreed to do something for me, would do it.

Whether the couple should have hired a professional is of absolutely no consequence, they chose not to, they asked a friend to take some photos for them, and ON THE DAY that friend bailed and didn't deliver.
I really fail to see how anyone can put blame on the Bride and Groom.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but that is how I see it,

Society in general would be a much better place if people took responsibility for their own actions instead of trying to shift blame to someone else all the time

[Bercy]

Harsh but very fair. Lesson - moreso for Weddings - with Christenings etc not far behind. The photographer's onus is to make crystal clear that the client knows what they are asking for. Then if they don't get it for what ever reason - just decline. It appears is that many people see amateurs as indistinct from anyone else holding a camera. Which gets back to points made earlier on - communication - and for that matter education. In several cases, when I have been asked to do a Wedding and I have explained the process and how much can be involved, they have gone off and thought about it and - wait for it - gone and hired a professional. I do not feel at all chided - I think I've done them a big favour!