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Thread: Urgent critique required - apply within.

  1. #1
    Ausphotography Veteran bobt's Avatar
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    Urgent critique required - apply within.

    Hi Guys,

    I have a "Creative" comp to enter in my club - entries due in a couple of days. I have several variations on a them and would like any comments, feedback, suggestions you might have including deleting bits, interchanging treatments etc etc. I'll tweak the final version and see how i go.

    small_smoke genie 4.jpg

    small_smoke genie5.jpg

    small_smoke genie6.jpg


    "If you want to be a better photographer, stand in front of more interesting stuff.” — Jim Richardson

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    Administrator ricktas's Avatar
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    For me.

    The first one does not work, the black line edge where they meet the 'lamp' makes it look like they need more editing. It separates them from the 'lamp' to much. They look like they are sitting on it, rather than coming out of it.

    The last one, for me, there is to much incense smoke, it takes away from the facial expressions.

    So my choice is the middle one. I think it is a good balance between smokiness and subject and creates a good 'genie in the lamp' effect.
    "It is one thing to make a picture of what a person looks like, it is another thing to make a portrait of who they are" - Paul Caponigro

    Constructive Critique of my photographs is always appreciated
    Nikon, etc!

    RICK
    My Photography

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    Ausphotography Regular Oakley's Avatar
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    Hi Bob, I love creative images and you have done a great job so good luck on the competition.

    My choice would be the second one as the buddha is soft enough to set the scene and just enough smoke and I like the separation of the vases.

    The vases in the first seem a bit close and in the last the buddha takes over your wonderful work so hope this helps and #2 a winner for me

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    Ausphotography Regular Nick Cliff's Avatar
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    Concur with the earlier remarks the middle photo is a nice balance

    cheers Nick

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    Big kid in the guise of an adult Bear Dale's Avatar
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    Great creativity, #2 is my pick.
    Cheers,
    Bear

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    Some of my Photos on Flickr here - Bear Dale
    Here is my FaceBook Page


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    Ausphotography Veteran Claire M's Avatar
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    Out of these 3 Bob, the middle image works the best. I'd like to suggest that maybe blur more of the smoke at the top of both the Woman and Man, and I think it would be effective to have the Man's eyes looking at the Woman's face (if that's not to much to ask ).
    Is there a theme re this creative comp (just curious)?
    Last edited by Claire M; 25-08-2019 at 12:29am.

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    Ausphotography Veteran tandeejay's Avatar
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    To me, the woman's stance looks like she is rising out of the bottle, but the man's stance makes him look like he is just standing on the lip of the bottle.

    I like the smoke in the 2nd image the best, it looks like a weapon of some sort is about to materialize in the man's hand.

    I agree with earlier comments about the composition, with the 2nd one being my preference.

    Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk
    John Blackburn

    "Life is like a camera! Focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out take another shot."


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    Ausphotography Veteran
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire M View Post
    Out of these 3 Bob, the middle image works the best. I'd like to suggest that maybe blur more of the smoke at the top of both the Woman and Man, and I think it would be effective to have the Man's eyes looking at the Woman's face (if that's not to much to ask ).
    Is there a theme re this creative comp (just curious)?
    No theme, it's just a free-for-all. As for the "man", now that's an interesting aspect. While i have taken lots of photos of naked women (call it a gender bias) I have never taken a nude male. This posed a problem, so I ended up taking a photo i took in the Louvre in Paris of a male statue. The original had his leg pointing out rather than both being together, and it has a robe draped over his arm. I must say he had rock hard abs though!

    I had to remove the robe, take off the head and move the leg in line with the other. Then I got a head and grafted it on top with the smoke covering up the rather poor patches everywhere. The head wasn't tilted the right way so had to be adjusted.

    Some people say i have too much time on my hands ..... can't imagine why.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by tandeejay View Post
    To me, the woman's stance looks like she is rising out of the bottle, but the man's stance makes him look like he is just standing on the lip of the bottle.
    I like the smoke in the 2nd image the best, it looks like a weapon of some sort is about to materialize in the man's hand.
    The "man" looks that way because he originally *did* have a weapon in his hand! see explanation of how i did the man. Did you notice that the smoke around his hand is a bunch of flowers?
    Last edited by bobt; 25-08-2019 at 8:53am.

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    I like my computer more than my camera farmmax's Avatar
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    When I first saw the Buddha in the second photo, I thought "What the..... " The Buddha immediately looked out of place to me. Aladdin and lamps, and Buddha don't seem to go together. Different religious associations and regions I suppose.

    I definitely like the third one least. The Buddha is taking up even more of the photo, and as Rick has stated, the smoke is overpowering the people. This means I have to go for the first one, but the space between the lamps is uncomfortable for me. Did you try turning the lamps so the handles were outwards. Would some smoke curling down over the lips of the lamps and round the bases bind the figures together more? If they are a loving couple, they look pretty estranged at present

    Suggestion for something other than a Buddha. Perhaps a child with a wide eyed look of amazement? The round shape of the head might fit in the space between the lamps better.

    Sorry for rearranging your ideas, but it is a bad habit of mine It is easier to criticize than create.

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    Ausphotography Veteran
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    Quote Originally Posted by farmmax View Post
    When I first saw the Buddha in the second photo, I thought "What the..... " The Buddha immediately looked out of place to me. Aladdin and lamps, and Buddha don't seem to go together. Different religious associations and regions I suppose.

    I definitely like the third one least. The Buddha is taking up even more of the photo, and as Rick has stated, the smoke is overpowering the people. This means I have to go for the first one, but the space between the lamps is uncomfortable for me. Did you try turning the lamps so the handles were outwards. Would some smoke curling down over the lips of the lamps and round the bases bind the figures together more? If they are a loving couple, they look pretty estranged at present

    Suggestion for something other than a Buddha. Perhaps a child with a wide eyed look of amazement? The round shape of the head might fit in the space between the lamps better.

    Sorry for rearranging your ideas, but it is a bad habit of mine It is easier to criticize than create.
    No problem about new ideas - that's the reason I posted in the first place!

    I did have a fiddle with the central Buddha, but couldn't find something suitable to replace it with - yet. However, I had come to a similar conclusion re the handles being in the wrong place and had already rotated those (see below). I agree that makes it look much better. The irony of all this is that the urgency just went out of it as i discovered I've missed the deadline anyway ..... now I have to wait another couple of months for the next comp. to enter it!!

    ausphoto_smoke genie-final.jpg

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    Ausphotography Veteran tandeejay's Avatar
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    A couple of suggestions for a budda replacement:

    Tutankamin
    Pyramid
    Sphynx

    Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk

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    Quote Originally Posted by tandeejay View Post
    A couple of suggestions for a budda replacement:

    Tutankamin
    Pyramid
    Sphynx
    Hmmm .... not bad, i have some of those somewhere ...... thanks!

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    Ausphotography Regular Nick Cliff's Avatar
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    An ancient Greek themed icon may work well here as the centerpiece

    cheers Nick

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    Ausphotography Addict Geoff79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobt View Post
    No problem about new ideas - that's the reason I posted in the first place!

    I did have a fiddle with the central Buddha, but couldn't find something suitable to replace it with - yet. However, I had come to a similar conclusion re the handles being in the wrong place and had already rotated those (see below). I agree that makes it look much better. The irony of all this is that the urgency just went out of it as i discovered I've missed the deadline anyway ..... now I have to wait another couple of months for the next comp. to enter it!!

    ausphoto_smoke genie-final.jpg
    For me, this one here is the winner. I think the out turned handles make a big difference and it all falls into place with this one... in my opinion.

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    Ausphotography Veteran
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff79 View Post
    For me, this one here is the winner. I think the out turned handles make a big difference and it all falls into place with this one... in my opinion.
    Yup ... of all the zillions of versions, that seems to make the biggest difference. I might still experiment with the various suggested alternatives to the statue - undecided about that. However, having stuffed up the entry date I do at least have more time now.

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    Administrator ricktas's Avatar
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    See if I was to change the middle element, I would go darker, with something like Lucifer. But that might mean darkening the lamps etc to create a better atmosphere, juxtaposition of evilness opposing the goodness that the genie's represent, man vs woman, light vs dark, etc

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    Ausphotography Veteran Claire M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ricktas View Post
    See if I was to change the middle element, I would go darker, with something like Lucifer. But that might mean darkening the lamps etc to create a better atmosphere, juxtaposition of evilness opposing the goodness that the genie's represent, man vs woman, light vs dark, etc
    Well, if you went along with Rick's idea, a serpent (with the lighting similar to that of your Budda) could be a replacement for the Budda, or perhaps along different lines - maybe an old set of 'balance' scales (like what was used to weigh gold) as in representing the balance of life?
    Just a thought!

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    Carpe Diem Gazza's Avatar
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    My two one Bobs worth and something other haven't mentioned (I think?)

    Everything is on the same focus plane making it a little flat for me.
    Perhaps some of the smoke could be created on different layers so various amounts of 'Blur' could be added?
    (Hope that makes sense?)



    Cheers -

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    Ausphotography Veteran
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire M View Post
    Well, if you went along with Rick's idea, a serpent (with the lighting similar to that of your Budda) could be a replacement for the Budda, or perhaps along different lines - maybe an old set of 'balance' scales (like what was used to weigh gold) as in representing the balance of life?
    Just a thought!
    Now I do have a set of balance scales someplace .... although I'm right out of serpents !

    Quite a lot of options to try now .... not sure which way to jump .... or whether to jump at all ! Good to get some input though .... it's all valuable. I do like this branch of photography!

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    Big kid in the guise of an adult Bear Dale's Avatar
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    How long do you have to put your entry in Bob?

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