The new airport screening process for outbound passengers.

[bobt]

Revised Melbourne Airport Security Arrangements.

Due to the latest terrorist threat the following new rules apply to departing passengers:-

1) All passengers are requested to arrive at the airport 3 days before their flight to allow for new processing procedures.

2) Passengers should present all carry-on luggage and bags to the Check In counter on arrival at the airport. These will be taken to a safe area and destroyed.

3) Larger luggage will be x-rayed before being handed to our trained staff who will open your cases and remove any suspicious looking items such as electronics, cameras, jewellery, cash or other re-saleable items. The remainder will be forwarded to your destination by sea.

4) In addition to removing shoes and belts at the security screening counters, passengers are asked to remove all remaining clothing prior to passing through the metal detectors.

5) Once through the detectors, all passengers are required to have a cavity search. For a small additional fee customs can arrange for this examination to be conducted by an officer of the opposite sex. Complimentary certificates will be issued to all male passengers confirming the state of their prostates.

6) In order to avoid passengers congregating on the aircraft, passengers are to remain seated at all times throughout the duration of the flight. Plastic bottles will be found in the seat pocket to accommodate your toileting requirements in flight.

7) In order to avoid terrorists targeting specific flights, destinations for all flights will be chosen at random. It is the passenger's responsibility to arrange transfers from your arrival point to your intended destination.

We know you will understand that these measures are for your own protection. We hope you enjoy your flight and look forward to seeing you again in the near future.

[ameerat42]

Sounds about right, Bob

[Tannin]

It is completely insane. More people are killed in Australia being hit by lightning bolts that terrorism. Over 100 times more people are killed falling off ladders. Where are the Ladder Police?

Well I'm not wearing it. I used to fly a lot, but I point-blank refuse to fly until they get sensible about security. I have, however, bought a nice new ladder. In fact, I haven't troubled an airline with my money since September 2001 when all this American-inspired idiocy began. And I won't. They can stick it where the sun don't shine.

[Hawthy]

. In fact, I haven't troubled an airline with my money since September 2001 when all this American-inspired idiocy began.

That blows me away, Tony. You have not travelled by air for 16 years because security is too tight? I fly probably a dozen flights a year and all you need to do is put your phone and keys on a tray and walk through a scanner. After that a maybe 50/50 chance of being checked for explosive residue. In the USA you might have to go through a full body scanner that gives some poor bastard an approximate image of me in my undies. I do not want his or her job!

All in all, it is not too arduous. The food is far worse.

[Mark L]

This is worth the few minutes to read I think. Different angle to what's generally presented in the media.
Here's a take from a security expert ...... http://www.smh.com.au/comment/sydney...31-gxm2z4.html

and of cause the herald post ridiculous photos throughout that the article they publish basically says don't.

[bobt]

This is worth the few minutes to read I think. Different angle to what's generally presented in the media.
Here's a take from a security expert ...... http://www.smh.com.au/comment/sydney...31-gxm2z4.html

and of cause the herald post ridiculous photos throughout that the article they publish basically says don't.

That's a really interesting take - hadn't thought of that before. I think next time I queue up I'll hire an Airtasker to stand in my place while I hide in the restrooms.

- - - Updated - - -

They can stick it where the sun don't shine.

They'll find it during the prostate exam.

- - - Updated - - -

Sounds about right, Bob

A friend of mine is leaving for O/S on Thursday - I wrote it for him. This is their second trip, the first one they complained that their seats were broken because they didn't recline fully in Economy. I love naivety!

[stephendean]

I am one of those that is happy to get to an airport early. I suffer from mild anxiety and therefore getting there ealy with my kindle and a decent coffee does not worry me to much. I will just get there a bit more early. Better make sure my kindle is fully charged and plenty of books. Now that we congregate at security the terriorists will have decent target that is easier to hit than a plane.

[jim]

This is worth the few minutes to read I think. Different angle to what's generally presented in the media.
Here's a take from a security expert ...... http://www.smh.com.au/comment/sydney...31-gxm2z4.html

and of cause the herald post ridiculous photos throughout that the article they publish basically says don't.

You sometimes get the feeling that the point of all these measures is to create a sense of anxiety. The more worried we are, the freer hand we are likely to give the authorities.

[bobt]

I am one of those that is happy to get to an airport early. I suffer from mild anxiety and therefore getting there ealy with my kindle and a decent coffee does not worry me to much. I will just get there a bit more early. Better make sure my kindle is fully charged and plenty of books. Now that we congregate at security the terriorists will have decent target that is easier to hit than a plane.

Yup ... me too. Every time i go O/S I find there's a holdup on the freeway or something. Less stressful to get there early and read or take photos of planes. I must admit that before I started this thread I hadn't considered how vulnerable we all are to attacks *before* we get past security. There are so many places that crowds form where we are vulnerable to idiots/terrorist (the terms are interchangeable).

[Mark L]

You sometimes get the feeling that the point of all these measures is to create a sense of anxiety. The more worried we are, the freer hand we are likely to give the authorities.

Interesting this happens a week after a super-duper Homeland Security portfolio is proposed.
One of the arrested was released without charge today??

[Liney]

2) Passengers should present all carry-on luggage and bags to the Check In counter on arrival at the airport. These will be taken to a safe area and destroyed.

3) Larger luggage will be x-rayed before being handed to our trained staff who will open your cases and remove any suspicious looking items such as electronics, cameras, jewellery, cash or other re-saleable items. The remainder will be forwarded to your destination by sea.

I could argue that at least one of the local airlines as been doing this for years.....

The problem is, Australia has been very lucky and has missed out on terrorism of a major scale over the years. No aircraft blown up, no trains blown up, no campaign of bombing attacks in shopping centres. As such, the general Australian public don't think it could ever happen and only see the hassle.

On the other hand, if we woke up one morning to the news showing a smoking hole in the ground with bits of aircraft around it, maybe somewhere in the GAFA or worse still in the middle of a major city, then the calls would come think and fast for better security, and demands for people to be held accountable.

I'm happy to take a bit longer to go through security for the piece of mind that a visible effort is being made to make my journey safer.

[bobt]

I'm happy to take a bit longer to go through security for the piece of mind that a visible effort is being made to make my journey safer.

It's all a question of balance really. A dedicated terrorist is always going to find a target - it's simply not possible to protect everyone everywhere. We need to accept that fact, and once we do it becomes just like any other potential hazard in life. In my life I have escaped numerous life threatening situations ranging from car accidents to a looney who wanted me dead. Once your number is up, be it Tatts or Terrorists, then that's it. I'd hate to get to the point where we were all too scared to leave home, because that's what terrorists want. You don't even have to leave home with some of the home invasions that are happening. Shit happens - let's just hope it doesn't happen when we're in the vicinity!!

[DacrimL]

....... I fly probably a dozen flights a year and all you need to do is put your phone and keys on a tray and walk through a scanner. After that a maybe 50/50 chance of being checked for explosive residue.

Try doing it with a pacemaker.........when I show my med card so as to avoid the scanner I get pulled aside and basically stripped down to my pants and shirt, then given a pat down........shoes and socks all have to go in the tray
Then because of that I get drug tested and what ever else they want to check for.......
Then after the bags go thru the scanner they want me to pull out all the camera gear from its bag.....bloody stupid if you ask me, for gawds sake its just gone thru a scanner.
All in all it can take me up to 30 minutes just to get past security, worse now

[peterb666]

I don't think they have any bag security at our regional airport but they do lock the dunny doors.

[landyvlad]

I'd hate to get to the point where we were all too scared to leave home, because that's what terrorists want.

That get's parroted a lot but there is no actual evidence that is the case.
Based on both their words and actions over the years it is clearly evident that (Islamic) terrorists want to KILL us and supplant all theologies / systems of government with their own.
And they aren't in the least bit fussy about how they accomplish that end.

Making us "scared to go out" is certainly not their end game.




But back to the OP - I love it, very clever !

[jim]

It isn't their end game Landyvlad, but it's certainly part of their strategy. If they got no reaction (disregarding for the moment whether that's even possible) they lose, no matter how many they kill.