I'm from Telstra and I'm here to help you with your computer problem.

[bobt]

I had a new and amazing experience yesterday.

I've had no end of calls from "Telstra" people ringing lately, all Indian and all trying to convince me that I had a problem with my computer (which they would fix for me as they are such nice people.)

Sometimes I lead them on with wide eyed innocence, and sometimes I tell them to f%$# off and stop annoying me. Usually I like to be very naive and let them waste time while I pretend to swallow their stories, and sometimes i wait until they've finished before telling them that I don't have a computer, which really freaks them out because there's nothing in their script that covers that.

Yesterday, for the first time, one of them confessed he wasn't from Telstra. He said "I'm ringing you from Telstra", and I said "No you're not, your ringing me from India and your trying to con me out of my money!" He said "How you know I am not from Telstra", and I told him it was because I get calls from them all the bloody time and he should just go and get a real job and stop ripping us off. He just said ... "I can't get a real job, there aren't any, so I have to do this to earn something because what else can I do?" We then had a bit of a chat, and I must admit did feel a bit sorry for him because I know they have no options over there and I have read about their crappy lives. It was refreshing though, to have one actually confess and stop lying to me ... I hope he finds a real job.

[mudman]

i keep getting calls from mahatma coats saying my internet is going to be disconnected for 6 months due to a problem with my computer
i tell them to eff off and get a real job
i do wonder though about how many gullible people there are out there who fall for such crap

[thegrump]

I tell them I can't hear them on this phone and ask them to ring me on my other. Which is the local police number.

[bobt]

i do wonder though about how many gullible people there are out there who fall for such crap

According to Scamwatch, we lost $229,000,000 in 2015 to various scams. The problem is, they are getting more and more sophisticated each year and their English expression is improving making them harder to detect. Emails I receive are quite convincing even down to the letterheads, logos and general presentation. Hard when you are expecting packages and you get emails with a tracing link - you need to be careful what you click!

- - - Updated - - -

I tell them I can't hear them on this phone and ask them to ring me on my other. Which is the local police number.

Good one! Must borrow that. 8*))))

[Lance B]

Everyone of these sorts of people that ring me up, I just tell them that I have been declared bankrupt. They hang up quicker than you can imagine, LOL.

[ameerat42]

If he was going to be that helpful, he should have hung up immediately
So, get a job trying to dupe people you don't even know/care about = peddle "drags". - Nope! No "sympaffy".

[Glenda]

Haven't had one of those calls for a while. I usually ask which computer - another thing not covered in their script as they usually just repeat the spiel about a virus - but I tell them if they know I have a virus they should be able to tell me which of our computers is affected. Having visited India and seen the abject poverty you can't help but feel sorry for the poor people struggling to keep their family fed and there are so many call centres there.

[ricktas]

i always ask them what the IP address of my computer is. If they know it is my computer with the viruses etc, then they must know its IP address. Funnily they never do know it.

[arthurking83]

My preferred method to deal with these idiots is to put them 'on hold'.
Take the call and tell them to hang on second as I have some food on the stove.
Go to kitchen, put the phone in loudspeaker mode, place (cordless) phone on the island bench in the middle of the kitchen and then just go about the kitchen making odd noises, banging pots and pans and opening and closing cupboard doors and stuff.

After a minute or two while they jabber away with whatever BS script they read from, they eventually stop jabbering as they've asked me a question of whatever topic.
Note I have no idea as I'm not listening to them, as they haven't listened to me!

Eventually, I slow down the noise, and it dissapears completely .. I've usually come into the study and doing stuff on the PC, or into the lounge and turned on the TV .. phone comes with me.
And all you can hear from the phone for a few minutes is ... "hello?" .. Sir?? .. are you there? .. hello, hello .. sir are you there?" ... etc, etc.

This usually goes on for a few minutes, one moron stuck around for about 10mins(seriously .. how thick are some people!!) .. but usually a few minutes or so. They just eventually hang up.
it's costs you nothing, but does waste a hell of a lot of their time, which is important to them.
My belief is that if we ALL waste their time in this way, they wont have enough time to call the hundreds of people they need to call to make their way of life worth pursuing.

Strangely too tho, I haven't had a call of this nature for about a couple of years now!

In fact maybe just a bit more, as the last one I dealt with was at mum and dads, while mum was still with us.
Mum and dad are greek, so didn't really understand what the call was about, especially taking into account the thick Indian accent.
So I took the call, and did the same thing only this time placed phone(in speaker mode) in the middle of the dining table, while we all ate lunch and chatted.
Bets were on as to how long this call would last, and with about 10-12 people around the table we all chatted and laughed .. which I can only assume was annoying the caller.
Can't remember how long he held on, but I don't remember them getting any more calls of this nature since .. and they used to get one every day, as Mum explained(she couldn't understand what they were telling her).

[Gazza]

When the Granddaughter was younger, the son-in-law use to hand off these calls to her. She was more than happy to jibber away to a complete stranger that needed to know what her dolls had been doing all day

[mikew09]

Hahahaha - I also have had some of those calls a while ago now - when I get these calls and infact any of these off shore cold calls for what ever reason. I just act like an idiot and answer like really stupid responses. I love to see if I can get them to just hang up with frustration - works a lot of the time too.
Like, yes I have a computer but its in the bathroom at the moment as I spilt coffee on it and needed to wash it off.