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Thread: Photographic Humour - Jokes

  1. #81
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    Top 10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Photography

    10. You can actually tell what kind of camera someone is using from over 30 feet away.
    9. You have tried to claim “Photoshop” as a medical expense because it’s good therapy.
    8. When planning a vacation, your main concern is finding a hotel that offers wifi so you’ll be able to upload your photos to the web, daily.
    7. You own more than one camera bag even though you only have one camera.
    6. You refer to cleaning up after dinner as “post-processing the kitchen.”
    5. You can’t remember the date of your best friend’s birthday, but you know all the specs of your camera and lenses by heart.
    4. When attending a wedding, you are more interested in what the photographer is doing than what the bride and groom are doing.
    3. When you see a photo of a model, you find yourself more interested in what lighting was used and how much processing may have been done.
    2. You understand that 22 is actually smaller than 5.6
    1. When gazing upon a beautiful landscape you think to yourself, “That’s lovely, but it could use just a bit more saturation!”
    Mic

    Photography is the art of telling stories with light.

    www.michaelgoulding.com

  2. #82
    It's all about the Light!
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    What camera brands tell us about people:::

    http://shutterfinger.typepad.com/shu...about-you.html

    owners

    You appreciate the benefits of owning a camera system that leads in cutting-edge digital imaging technology and that offers a wealth of body, lens, and accessory options for every level of photographer, from lowly consumer to top professional. You will switch to Nikon.

    owners
    You appreciate the benefits of owning a camera system that leads in cutting-edge digital imaging technology and that offers a wealth of body, lens, and accessory options for every level of photographer, from lowly consumer to top professional. You will switch to Canon.

    owners
    You’re the sort of person who would buy a $1500 DSLR body so your stash of thread-mount, K-mount and M-mount lenses from decades ago (collectively worth $75.00 at a flea market or yard sale) won’t go to waste; either that, or you’ve never heard of a Spotmatic, Pentax LX or Takumar, you just think you look cool sporting a day-glo red camera that takes real pictures. You think people are laughing with you, not at you.
    (But that $75 lens costs $2,000 new in Canikon - so who's laughing now )

    owners
    You believe that Sony’s innovations in consumer electronics and video technology, its leadership in digital imaging chip production, its in-body image stabilization, and its use of Zeiss optics results in a unique design synergy and products of exceptional value—because that’s what it says in the product literature. You also believe in astrology, UFOs and the Easter Bunny.

    owners
    You’re the sort of person who buys North Korean beer, Peruvian underwear, and French cars, not because you actually like them but because no one else does. When people question your choice of camera system you respond that Olympus images have a certain “soul” and that photographs are what matter, not the camera. You have no friends.

    Leica owners
    You know that no other camera other than a Hasselblad gains as much instant respect among the cognoscenti as a Leica. Although this relieves the pressure of demonstrating actual photographic prowess, it increases the need to be familiar with the subtle differences in visual signature between an Elmar, Elmarit, Summitar, Summicron, and Summilux. You are either stinking rich, living in your mother’s basement, or one lens purchase away from a divorce.

    ... Read more in the link above, and the comments
    regards, Kym Gallery Honest & Direct Constructive Critique Appreciated! ©
    Digital & film, Bits of glass covering 10mm to 500mm, and other stuff



  3. #83
    Amor fati!
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    As a lover of imported beers, and citroens I should in fact have an Olympus, not a Nikon... oh well.

    I personally think there IS a difference between nikon and canon users tho!

  4. #84
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    ROFLMAO, especially at the editorial comments under Pentax!!!
    Waz
    Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who matter don't mind don't matter and those who mind don't matter - Dr. Seuss...
    D700 x 2 | Nikkor AF 50 f/1.8D | Nikkor AF 85 f/1.8D | Optex OPM2930 tripod/monopod | Enthusiasm ...

  5. #85
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    Advice: Take the photo without flash...
    ...so Flash did not apear in the photo

  6. #86
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    From the Urban dictionary...


    PHOBAR

    -adjective, Acronym for "PHOtoshopped Beyond All Recognition." A play on the the more popular acronym FUBAR: "F**** Up Beyond All Recognition," PHOBAR refers to an image, usually a photo of a person, that has been retouched and airbrushed with digital image manipulation software on a computer so significantly, that the person in the photo is barely recognizable.
    Of course she looks perfect in that photo, she was PHOBAR.

  7. #87
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    http://i.imgur.com/JCCUd.jpg

    It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. - Mitch Hedberg
    Last edited by Kym; 03-03-2011 at 5:56pm. Reason: IMG > URL Copyright

  8. #88
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  9. #89
    It's all about the Light!
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    This one is even better http://www.petapixel.com/2011/03/10/...th-a-leica-m6/

    It shows why a rangefinder is crap, and SLRs are good.

  10. #90
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    Last edited by Kym; 07-04-2011 at 8:46am. Reason: Changed to URL for (c) reasons

  11. #91
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    Camera War's

    Think I'd prefer a Canon!!!

    Last edited by Kym; 02-03-2012 at 11:49pm. Reason: Fixed YT link

  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by etherial View Post
    Think I'd prefer a Canon!!!
    Huh, it was a Canon flash he threw wasn't it?
    I thought it must have been because like most Canon gear they self destruct at the first sign of stress.

    Brilliant bid of video though, amazing what people with too much time and money on their hands can do.
    Andrew
    Nikon, Fuji, Nikkor, Sigma, Tamron, Tokina and too many other bits and pieces to list.



  13. #93
    can't remember Tannin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kym View Post
    http://shutterfinger.typepad.com/shu...about-you.html

    owners

    You appreciate the benefits of owning a camera system that leads in cutting-edge digital imaging technology and that offers a wealth of body, lens, and accessory options for every level of photographer, from lowly consumer to top professional. You will switch to Nikon.

    owners
    You appreciate the benefits of owning a camera system that leads in cutting-edge digital imaging technology and that offers a wealth of body, lens, and accessory options for every level of photographer, from lowly consumer to top professional. You will switch to Canon.

    owners
    You’re the sort of person who would buy a $1500 DSLR body so your stash of thread-mount, K-mount and M-mount lenses from decades ago (collectively worth $75.00 at a flea market or yard sale) won’t go to waste; either that, or you’ve never heard of a Spotmatic, Pentax LX or Takumar, you just think you look cool sporting a day-glo red camera that takes real pictures. You think people are laughing with you, not at you.
    (But that $75 lens costs $2,000 new in Canikon - so who's laughing now )

    owners
    You believe that Sony’s innovations in consumer electronics and video technology, its leadership in digital imaging chip production, its in-body image stabilization, and its use of Zeiss optics results in a unique design synergy and products of exceptional value—because that’s what it says in the product literature. You also believe in astrology, UFOs and the Easter Bunny.

    owners
    You’re the sort of person who buys North Korean beer, Peruvian underwear, and French cars, not because you actually like them but because no one else does. When people question your choice of camera system you respond that Olympus images have a certain “soul” and that photographs are what matter, not the camera. You have no friends.

    Leica owners
    You know that no other camera other than a Hasselblad gains as much instant respect among the cognoscenti as a Leica. Although this relieves the pressure of demonstrating actual photographic prowess, it increases the need to be familiar with the subtle differences in visual signature between an Elmar, Elmarit, Summitar, Summicron, and Summilux. You are either stinking rich, living in your mother’s basement, or one lens purchase away from a divorce.
    This is off-topic.

    You should know better, Kym.

    Why was this posted in a humour thread?
    Tony

    It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

  14. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kym View Post
    This one is even better http://www.petapixel.com/2011/03/10/...th-a-leica-m6/

    It shows why a rangefinder is crap, and SLRs are good.
    What a thicko!
    Odille

    “Can't keep my eyes from the circling sky”

    My Blog | Canon 1DsMkII | 60D | Tokina 20-35mm f/2.8 AF AT-X PRO | EF50mm f/1.8| Sigma 150-500mm F5-6.3 APO DG OS HSM | Fujifilm X-T1 & X-M1 | Fujinon XC 16-50mm F3.5-5.6 OIS | Fujinon XC 50-230mm F3.5-5.6 OIS | Fujinon XF 18-55mm F2.8-4R LM OIS | tripods, flashes, filters etc ||

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    If you saw someone drowning and you could either save the person or photograph the event...
    would you use a zoom or prime lens?

  16. #96
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    Zoom no doubt, keep the frame tight as they float away!!
    Greg Bartle,
    I have a Pentax and I'm not afraid to use it.
    Pentax K5
    Sigma 10-20 | Tamron 17-50 F:2.8 | Sigma 50 F:1.4 | Sigma 70-200 F:2.8 Plus a bunch of Ye Olde lenses


    Would you like to see more?
    http://flickr.com/photosbygreg

  17. #97
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    Better to video it so you can hear the sound of him gurgling.
    All my photos are taken with recycled pixels.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
    Wisdom, is knowing not to serve it in a fruit salad.

  18. #98
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    hehe. good comeback.

  19. #99
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    Not sure of the truth of the anecdote, but heard of a person working for a company that offered photoshopping services for people, who had a customer come in with an old photograph of a horse, and under the horse, you could just make out the legs of a person on the other side. She explained to the staff member that this was the only existing photo she has of her father, and would they be able to remove the horse so she could see what he looked like.
    Canon EOS 60D ..... EFS 18-200mm f/3.5 - 5.6 IS - 430 EXII Speedlite - "eBay special" Remote Control Unit - Manfrotto 190XPROB w 804RC2 head.

  20. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by etherial View Post

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    01010100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100111 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100101 01110101 01101001 01110110 01100001 01101100 01100101 01101110 01110100 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100101 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100010 01100100 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01010011 01000100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101100 00100000 01100101 01110100 01100011 00100000 01100101 01110100 01100011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110000 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101000 01101111 01110100 01101111 01110011 00101110

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