Photographic Humour - Jokes

[Kym]

There are only 10 types of people in the world, those that understand digital and those that don't.

I think that might be 'understand binary'

[etherial]

Doh, I knew it didn't sound right! Clearly you are one of the former!

[arnica]

I'm not sure if this has been posted here before, but here I go:

http://www.break.com/index/excited-p...ak-moment.html

[Scromple]

So there I was sitting in the cafe one day. As I watched the pedestrian traffic across the road I saw two guys walk into a camera store. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

[Bear Dale]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

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Mod note: Merged thread

[Xebadir]

Heard it before but gotta love it. Definitely one of the things to watch out for as a Canon user though id reckon

[mudman]

i always thought the lightning came before the thunder, or am i being pedantic.

[Kym]

A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything!"
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... STUDY??"

[Lance B]

A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything!"
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... STUDY??"

That's just taking things too far!!

[Snappytom]

Photographer Works

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.

However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

So what's the moral of the story?

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

brilliant

[kiwi]

Once upon a time.....

[Bear Dale]

Hmmmm Nikon lacking a little bit in the length department?


http://www.pagesofink.com/images/200...NikonCanon.jpg

[KillerTimbo]

Not sure if you've all seen this before, but I chuckled. Judge Joe (just like Judge Judy) settles a wedding photographer dispute. Clearly Judge Joe knows his way around the 'tog business...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js7Rz...layer_embedded

[jbee]

A digital joke - Kryton would like this one

010000010010000001100110011001010110110001101100
011011110111011100100000011000100110111101110101
011001110110100001110100001000000110000100100000
010011000110000101100010011100100110000101100100
011011110111001000100000011100000111010101110000
011100000111100100100000011001100111001001101111
011011010010000001110100011010000110010100100000
011100000110010101110100001000000111001101110100
011011110111001001100101001000000110000101101110
011001000010000001101110011000010110110101100101
011001000010000001101000011010010110110100100000
010010110110111101100100011000010110101100001101
000010100101010001101000011000010111010000100000
011101110110000101111001001000000110100001100101
001000000110001101101111011101010110110001100100
001000000111001101100001011110010010000001101000
011001010010000001101111011101110110111001100101
011001000010000001100001001000000100101101101111
011001000110000101101011001000000110110001100001
01100010

[geoffsta]

Killertimbo........ That didn't last long

[etherial]

A digital joke - Kryton would like this one

010000010010000001100110011001010110110001101100
011011110111011100100000011000100110111101110101
011001110110100001110100001000000110000100100000
010011000110000101100010011100100110000101100100
011011110111001000100000011100000111010101110000
011100000111100100100000011001100111001001101111
011011010010000001110100011010000110010100100000
011100000110010101110100001000000111001101110100
011011110111001001100101001000000110000101101110
011001000010000001101110011000010110110101100101
011001000010000001101000011010010110110100100000
010010110110111101100100011000010110101100001101
000010100101010001101000011000010111010000100000
011101110110000101111001001000000110100001100101
001000000110001101101111011101010110110001100100
001000000111001101100001011110010010000001101000
011001010010000001101111011101110110111001100101
011001000010000001100001001000000100101101101111
011001000110000101101011001000000110110001100001
01100010

0100100100100000011101110110111101101110011001000110010101110010001000000111011101101000011000010111010000100000011101110110111101110101011011000110010000100000 0110001001100101001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100100011010010110011101101001011101000110000101101100001000000111011001100101011100100111001101101001 011011110110111000100000011011110110011000100000011000010010000001001011011011110110010001100001011010110010000001001100011000010110001000111111

[Gas]

Hear about the japanese tour bus that was hijacked? Police say there is a good chance the offenders will be captured as over 300 photos were taken! BOOM BOOM..

[etherial]

Erin from "The Office" on disposable cameras...

http://www.petapixel.com/2010/10/04/...ortant-events/

[jbee]

0100100100100000011101110110111101101110011001000110010101110010001000000111011101101000011000010111010000100000011101110110111101110101011011000110010000100000 0110001001100101001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100100011010010110011101101001011101000110000101101100001000000111011001100101011100100111001101101001 011011110110111000100000011011110110011000100000011000010010000001001011011011110110010001100001011010110010000001001100011000010110001000111111

A witches cat called Hex ?

[jbee]

Erin from "The Office" on disposable cameras...

http://www.petapixel.com/2010/10/04/...ortant-events/

That's a top clip