Photographic Humour - Jokes

[virgal_tracy]

Had this site sent to me and it has some funny stuff that we can all relate to.

Enjoy

What the duck

[Miaow]

lol some good ones there

[seastorm]

I've bookmarked it, thanks Vince!!!

[BLWNHR]

I nearly wet myself laughing at my mates FaceBook status the day of the Sydney dust storms:

"Woke up and tried to change the white balance to amber..but didn't have any luck.. "

[Crazy Horse]

My wife asked me to take out the garbage the other day...I said 'You cooked it, you take it out'

[nigo75]

How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb?

50 - One to change the bulb, and forty-nine to say, "I could have done
that!"

[ving]

one for the birders.

you know of all the birds in all the world I'd have to say the boobook owl has to be the most caring!

... cause it actually gives two hoots!

boom boom!

[nigo75]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[Dizzy Photographics]

lol...i really like that one

[Harves]

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him. He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air. The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs." The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

[nigo75]

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to the school.

Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then, at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" Her little girl answered, "God keeps taking pictures of me!"

[MATT]

Lame Photography Jokes...


Ok it had to be done...



CANON

Just kidding
MATT

[Tannin]

one for the birders.

you know of all the birds in all the world I'd have to say the boobook owl has to be the most caring!

... cause it actually gives two hoots!

Actually, no fair-dinkum birdo would laugh at that one, they would be too busy telling you that you have miscapitalised the species name, and in any case, it isn't a "boobook owl", the correct name is Southern Boobook.

[ricktas]

A photographer goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, "You are a beautiful woman, would you like to sit for me at my studio?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the poor guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and quietly says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which the photographer responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

[MATT]

A photographer goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, "You are a beautiful woman, would you like to sit for me at my studio?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the poor guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and quietly says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which the photographer responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

GOLD

MATT

[ricktas]

I bought a new Labrador and decided to call him Kodak. Cause I have always wanted to own a Kodak Lab


(owner unknown)

[IanB]

nigo75

How many AP members does it take to take a photo?

50 - One to take the photo, and forty-nine to say which lens would be best to use

[nigo75]

There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going
to get a picture taken of themselves as they were getting there passports.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the
camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.
Well, Luella being out of hearing says, "Huh?"
Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"
Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"

[Astroman]

Nigo75: HAHAHA!!!!

[etherial]

There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going
to get a picture taken of themselves as they were getting there passports.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the
camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.
Well, Luella being out of hearing says, "Huh?"
Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"
Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"

Nup, lost on me.