As the more astute amongst you may have realised, I am no longer young, aesthetically pleasing or in any way a picture of health and virility. Old and rotund would perhaps be a more accurate description. It would be fair to say that although I have yet to reach my "Use By" date, my "Best Before" date came and went some time ago. This ageing process found me in hospital a couple of weeks ago whilst a surgeon probed away with arthroscopic delight as he cut several holes in my shoulder and did a bit of remedial carpentry on one of my shoulders, .
Prior to the operation, as is customary, the nursing staff left me with little clothing to protect my modesty except for a pair of budgie smugglers and the obligatory "moon" gown.
When I awoke from surgery, they transferred me to a bed leaving the gown behind and my budgies only millimeters from flying the coop. A vulnerable position for one who has no illusions as to the aesthetic deficit I present to the world in this type of situation. However, even budgie smugglers and a sheet left me with some dignity .... or so I thought.
In the morning, an attractive young nurse appeared, and told me that I must shower before being discharged. Sweeping the sheet aside she escorted my near naked form to the adjacent shower, and turned to leave. It was then she paused, turned to me and said "I'll just take those undies ........"
I never thought I'd see the day when having an attractive young woman suggesting that I should get naked would be a horrifying experience !!!!!