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Thread: Canon Vs Nikon : Ford Vs Holden : what about Microsoft vs Ford?

  1. #1
    Administrator ricktas's Avatar
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    24 Jun 2007
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    Canon Vs Nikon : Ford Vs Holden : what about Microsoft vs Ford?

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...

    At a not so recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

    If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash..........twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5..... Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

    I love the next one!!!

    7...... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
    9........ Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

    PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
    Last edited by ricktas; 21-07-2012 at 6:16pm.
    "It is one thing to make a picture of what a person looks like, it is another thing to make a portrait of who they are" - Paul Caponigro

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  2. #2
    Arch-Σigmoid Ausphotography Regular ameerat42's Avatar
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    Har-har-har!!! Hilarious, but...

    But no matter WHO does WHAT, there is a world full of SUCKERS that would accept it all without question. But not me!!! No-o-oh!!!

    Now I have a Get Rich Quick scheme that was inspired by the same well-heeled aforesaid gentleman, if anecdotally.

    It was said of the same gentleman that he would not stoop to pick up a $20 bill from the footpath (translated from the original "sidewalk") because the act would not be worth his time
    (ie, it would be uneconomical).

    Now I have decided that if this attitude is good enough for him then it should work for me. I could become as rich as he is!

    I have tried to put it into practice, and I am more than willing to eschew picking up $20 bills.

    For some reason, though, I have not yet amassed any sort of fortune...

    I have no idea why

    Perhaps it is just a scam. Yes! Of course!

    Last edited by ameerat42; 21-07-2012 at 6:29pm.
    CC, Image editing OK.

  3. #3
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    I remember seeing a post on usenet years ago about "if operating systems were airlines" and loved it. I also like this one - possibly because I'm a test lead in Linux land

    A man was flying along in a balloon when he spies another man out in a field below.

    He drops his altitude and shouts at the man below "Where am I?"

    The man below replies "You're in a balloon."

    The man in the balloon responds with "You must work for Microsoft."

    "How did you know?" asks the man below.

    "Because you have given me information that is technically correct, but does me no good whatsoever" says the balloon pilot.

    "Well you must be in management" replies the man on the ground.

    "How did you know?" asks the balloonist.

    "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but since we met it is now somehow MY fault."

  4. #4
    Moderately Underexposed I @ M's Avatar
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    I am beginning to wonder if Micro$oft haven't bought large parcels of shares in both Canon and Nikon

    The press release would look something like ---

    To all Canon owners, if you experience any unwanted light entering the camera, wrap it in duct tape to ensure perfect exposure even with the lens cap on.
    To all Nikon owners, if you experience any autofocus errors with your camera, immediately switch to live view and manual focus because that is what all the "pros" do.
    Nikon, Fuji, Nikkor, Sigma, Tamron, Tokina and too many other bits and pieces to list.

  5. #5
    A royal pain in the bum! arthurking83's Avatar
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    04 Jun 2006
    the worst house, in the best street
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    Imagine that one day there will be one singular BNL(ref: WallE) gigantic corporation that just makes everything ..

    And the end product is a car that suddenly turns left for you for no reason, randomly opens a window to let more light in, shuts down intermittently without warning, forces you to lose focus on what it was you were supposed to be concentrating on, displays a cryptic error message that only serves to confuse you even more .. and requires that you dispose of the product annually and get an entirely new one, because a simple air filter requires 12 hours labour to remove and refit, and costs $10,995 + GST(non inclusive of labour).
    Nikon D800E, D300, D70s
    {Nikon} -> 50/1.2 : 500/8(CPU'd) : 105/2.8VR Micro : 180/2.8ais : 105mm f/1.8ais : 24mm/2ais
    {Sigma}; ->10-20/4-5.6 : 50/1.4 : 12-24/4.5-5.6II : 150-600mm|S
    {Tamron}; -> 17-50/2.8 : 28-75/2.8 : 70-200/2.8 : 300/2.8 SP MF : 24-70/2.8VC

    {Yongnuo}; -> YN35/2N : YN50/1.8N

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